Affairs and Betrayals
There are numerous reasons for people to betray someone’s trust or commit an act of infidelity. It depends on the circumstances and needs of the people involved. In general, the reasons can be divided into two main groups - to save the relationship or to end it.
To Save The Relationship
Sometimes betrayals occur when a person wants a concrete reason to end the relationship. There may be problems that have slowly escalated leading to a breakdown in the relationship but neither party wants to be the one to end it. Having an affair or betraying the other party can seem like a simple way to get out of the relationship without having to deal with the real reason for the relationship breakdown.
There are some cases where the perpetrator may carry out an affair or betrayal as a way to seek pleasure, excitement or opportunity. It may even be to increase their social recognition or to raise their self esteem. This creates a very unbalanced relationship as that person is putting their need for gratification ahead of the needs of the people around them.
It can be extremely upsetting and even life changing for someone to discover they have been betrayed. There is a deep loss of trust and the intensity and range of the feelings that follow are often similar to those that occur after the death of a loved one.
Experiences of grief can occur after any negative life-changing event. Grief for the loss of the initial happy relationship, for the loss of trust, security and respect and also for the loss of an expected ‘perfect’ life that will no longer be possible are all real and normal reactions to a betrayal.
Once a betrayal has been discovered it may open the floodgates for a torrent of emotions and questions for both sides but especially for the one who has been betrayed. Feelings of uncertainty and confusion will most likely occur and each party may find themselves questioning not only their relationship but many aspects of their identity and their lives as a whole.